Peekaboo I see you…
I was just chatting with one of my homegirls about sex and what we like. We both like it a little rough with our men in bed. But alas, the men we’ve encountered are hesitant to take it to that level for fear of hurting us. Which is sweet, mind you. But not what we need sometimes. So she said that she would consider bringing it up on her next first date to get it out of the way up front. To which, I replied that I promised myself that I wouldn’t bring up sex on the first date anymore because I don’t want my date to think that’s all I’m interested in, leading to a booty call, friends with benefits, or one night stand.
The minute I typed it out, it pissed me off. Why can’t I just be myself upfront? I love sex! I love having it. I love writing about it. I love talking about it. I’m a sexual human being, with a healthy appetite. Why do I have to pretend I’m a prude in the beginning just so I can make some weak and close-minded man feel comfortable? So I can be worthy of a relationship? Why can’t I be both sexual and girlfriend material?
This is why y’all asses always find yourselves in bland ass relationships with women who don’t want to have sex with you. You want the illusion of a good girl, maybe even a virgin, and then when you fall into bed, you want her to become your favorite porn star. Umm…nah. That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works. Sorry. I mean, I’m sure it works out in your favor sometimes, but I’ve heard WAY too many sexless relationship horror stories to believe that method actually works out for you guys.
As the perpetual single gal, listening to the complaints of the coupled, I’ve heard it all. More often than not, it’s the same story: Annoyingly horny boyfriend/husband and the low-libido girlfriend/wife.
When will you learn?
Why are men so intimidated by a woman who knows what she wants sexually? Are they afraid that they won’t measure up? That she’ll demand more? Better?
I have noticed that men like to be lazy in bed and are perfectly fine with getting theirs and leaving us hanging. So maybe that prudish or low-libido lady will let you get away with not satisfying her because she’s just ready for you to get it over with?
Whatever it is, I truly wish that men would open their minds and close off their judgment and welcome sexually confident women. Because this double standard of men being allowed to be sexual beings while women are not is what leads to sexual incompatibility and disappointment.