eLove: Not So Trendy in eBooks.

Sorry, I’ve been incognito for a while. I’ve written some posts, but none of them felt right to hit publish. Anywho, I’m back for now and armed with some thoughts. I’ve read quite a few of my peers’ novels recently and I noticed something that I want to speak on.
First, I want to point out that I’ve noticed that there has been a decline in romantic movies or RomComs over the past couple of years. A lot of things factor into the death of romance on the big screen, but I read one article, that I could not find to link here, that said a big reason for the decline is that Hollywood is having a hard time translating the new digital romance era. And it’s no wonder with the sad state relationships are in. All you have to do is go to a restaurant in the past couple of years since smartphones turned us into social dummies. To see adults out to dinner with the hypnotizing bluish white glow on their faces, that has turned them into digital zombies, as they focus on the bright screen of their phones, rather than on the company across from them.

Watching digital romance play out on social media is like watching a soap opera. ‘Single’ statuses turning into ‘In a Relationship’ to ‘It’s Complicated’ to ‘Single’ once more. Side Chicks and Side Dick (Is that a thing or did I just make it up?), Ghosting, Benching, deciphering cryptic texts and DMs or PMs in the new emoji hieroglyphics, navigating the Left and Right Swipes, Netflix and Chill, and Hookup Culture. UUUUUGH!!! Just thinking about it makes me want to punch something.

I’m sure somewhere Hollywood can come up with some clever RomCom that surrounds all this garbage and somehow make it cute. But when it comes to Romance novels and all of its sub-genres, I myself, as an author of Romance, am not writing eLove and I’m not seeing a whole lot of others doing it either. And the Romance genre seems to continue to thrive without a problem.

Now, I know I haven’t read every romance novel currently in circulation, but I’ve read enough to know that many of the heroines and heroes meet and communicate in a way that harkens back to the good old days. There’s barely any meet-cutes online or through dating apps. No communicating through Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat. It could be done and there may be a few out there who have already done it, but it sure isn’t popular. I think it has to do with women’s desire to have relationships back to the way it once was.

And besides, IT’S BORING! Who wants to read a novel where nothing happens in real life to the characters? That the hero and heroine only interact through their phones? I would throw my eReader at the wall if I had to read that malarkey.

I think Hollywood should take a cue from the authors of Romance and write stories about love the way they’ve always been told. There’s a whole audience out there that still wants to see a good old-fashioned love story. Lithium batteries not included.

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Model Behavior: The Male Celebrity Cliche

So last night, my parents and I were watching Running Wild with Bear Grylls. His celebrity guest for the night was Mel B of the Spice Girls. She was talking about her children and their dads. One, being Eddie Murphy. My mom Googled him to see who he was married to now. He’s not married, but he recently had another child with some blonde bombshell. My mom checked her out and low and behold…she’s a model. *major eye roll that turned into massive side-eye that then surpassed Resting Bitch Face* Which got me to thinking.

Is there anything more cliche than the male celebrity and his model wife/girlfriend? Like, seriously! Every now and again, and I do mean every now and again, you’ll find a celebrity that will find love with a regular ol’ girl. But for the most part, actors, musicians, athletes, etc all have this problem. And I do consider it a problem.

I’m not saying models aren’t people and that they don’t deserve love like everyone else. But come on, I don’t think anyone needs to advocate for models finding love. I think they got love covered, better than most of us. As far as I can tell, they’re the only ones getting love. It’s as if they get passed out like hor d’oeuvres at parties none of us were invited to.

Anyway, I do see it as a problem, though. I mean, how many of these relationships have actually lasted? Aside from David Bowie and Iman. God rest his soul. It makes sense I suppose for actors to fall in love actresses. Especially if they worked closely together in a movie. Many people find love through their work. But I’m seriously gonna need these men to expand their horizons just a smidge.

I guess it has to do with the male ego. Maybe for many of these guys, they didn’t get the hot girl when they were younger. So now they’re basking in the plethora of pretty pussy surrounding them on the daily. But then every time I turn around these relationships fail. Well, duh! It was based on the physical, to begin with.

Let’s take a look at George Clooney. That man was swimming in a see of pretty pus. Models and everybody else were on his jock like it was the best thing since sliced bread. And absolutely none of them held his interest. Until he met Amal. Now I’m not saying she isn’t model beautiful. But that woman has so much more than looks going for her, it ain’t even funny. He couldn’t help but see her inner glow.

And you have a few others like Vince Vaughn that found himself a normal lady (Real Estate Agent). Matt Damon (Bartender). David Schwimmer (Waitress at the time, now photographer). Jesse Williams (Real Estate Agent).

And even still, all of these wives are very attractive and slender in their own right. I wanna see a celebrity really shake some shit up and marry someone plump and round or plain. Hint, hint. I’m not plain, but I’m definitely round.

Believe me, I’ve had fun with some fine ass dudes with ahhhhhmazing bodies and it wasn’t hard for them to find me attractive. My body was never a problem. Their problem was worrying about the outside world and their opinions.

And hey, even if it isn’t me that catches a fox, I’d still love to see a plump cutie snag one. And I’m not talking about some dweeby C-lister. I’m talking, smokin’ hot A-lister here. For once I’d like to someone the likes of my boo Henry Cavill, Chris Evans, Leonardo DiCaprio (the worst offender), Common, Scott Eastwood, etc fall for some kickass chick that has a dope personality and some extra lady lumps. Instead of always seeking out what society deems acceptable.

Quite frankly, it’s boring.

 

P.S. And I don’t want any commentary about “Well what about the not so hot celebrities? Aren’t you discriminating against them just as much as you’re being discriminated against?” I’d date Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, or any guy like them in a heartbeat. But these types of men date models too. So if celebrity DUFFs can date models, why can’t regular DUFFs date hot celebrities? Just saying.

P.S.S. In the grand scheme of things, this subject isn’t that important. But it is a subject that has always bothered me. A lot of these men are role models or just looked up to in general by their average joe counterparts. Maybe if they dated based more on insides than outsides, average joes may follow.

Ha! Who am I kidding?!