Babies=Lifelong Commitment to Someone You May Not Even Like

Marriage. That word is filled with commitment and apparently, a lot of hard work. But here’s the thing. Say, you no longer love or even like your spouse. You can cut the ties and get a divorce. And you never have to see them again, especially if there are no children. Ah…children. Which brings me to the point of this post.

Children. That word is filled with more commitment than any marriage certificate ever could. You see, every time you lay down with someone in bed, ready to make whoopie without protection, aside from possible diseases, you’re potentially creating something that could tie you to this person for the rest of your life! Do you hear me? THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

So ask yourself…Do I really like this person that much? Now I’m pretty sure some of you are like, “Well, I wouldn’t be having sex with them if I didn’t at least like him/her.” To which I say, I’ve been in a relationship that if I dug really deep, I would’ve said “I don’t even really like you. You’re kind of an asshole.” And I know I’m not the only one this has happened to. You get so caught up in the idea of love than actually being in love with this person. You want the relationship to work so badly that you ignore the fact that you don’t even really like the person all that much. Just so you don’t have to say you’re alone.

Then you think that having a baby will make it better. Or maybe you “accidentally” get knocked up. Though honestly, there’s no such thing. Unless he slipped you a roofie and had sex with you without your knowledge. Whenever we sleep with someone without a condom or any form of birth control, you’re playing Russian Roulette with your uterus. Anyway, I digress. So then you get prego. Now, no matter what happens in your relationship, you’re stuck with this person for life.

If you break up? Birthdays. Holidays. Graduations. Weddings. Grandkids. The list could go on and on. All these major life events, milestones, and celebrations will have to be shared with that person. And if one or the other decides to disappear to leave the other with all the responsibility of the child, then no, you don’t have to deal with them for the rest of your life…physically. But even if they’re not there, every time you look at that child you’re going to see his/her features or mannerisms. Or just plain and simply remember the presence of this person almost every day because you had a child with them. Or see the hurt in your child’s face when mom or dad isn’t there for all those life events. So instead of annoying you with their presence, they annoy you with their ghost.

I’ve seen enough people turn up their noses at their exes/baby mommas/baby daddies with a look of “What was I thinking?” to know that this situation is not ideal. So please, think to yourself, “If I were to break up with this person for whatever reason, would I be okay seeing them for every holiday, birthday, or milestone in my child’s life for the rest of my life?” If the answer is no, then you know what to do.

Single Girl Observations: Modern Relationships Suck Balls!

Do you remember when we used to sit down and have dinner with family, friends, and significant others without the interruption of technology? No? Ah, then you were born in the time of cell phones. You probably don’t know anything about looking into another’s eyes and having an unabbreviated conversation. OMG! LOL! BRB! Tots adorbs!

But us older folks know what it’s like. And it was awesome! Then the world became overrun by tiny rectangular devices that destroyed our communication skills.

Who knew that something so small could be so dangerous to human interaction, especially intimate relationships.

I have to admit that I haven’t dated anyone since the advent of the QWERTY keyboard on old flip phones, circa 2009. Texting was just about to blow up and smartphones probably were just starting to be thought of. You didn’t have social media at your fingertips. Hell, I hadn’t even heard of Twitter yet and there was no Instagram to speak of.

When you sat down together for lunch or dinner, you actually talked about your days. Engaged in intellectual discussions. Flirted! With your eyes no less!

You actually called each other on the phone and sometimes would bask in the glory of just hearing them breathe on the other line. I’ve even fallen asleep while on the phone a time or two.

And when you got into bed at night, you talked…yes again with the talking! You cuddled, watched your favorite shows together without tweeting about it or you screwed each other’s brains out, before falling into a deep sleep.

I’m hesitant to start a new relationship because I’m so afraid of ending up like the rest of the mindless drones that have empty relationships and full news feeds. I’ve seen some of you sitting in restaurants, not talking to each other with your heads down, looking for all the world like you’re praying the other doesn’t start talking. God forbid!

More excited to update your relationship statuses than to actually have someone in your life. Posting about how wonderful your significant other is, instead of actually experiencing how wonderful they are. Taking adorable selfies together, only to once more bury your faces in your phones, ignoring each other as soon as the picture is taken. So busy bragging that you didn’t even notice that the relationship is already over. And after all that boasting you have to regretfully change your status to ‘It’s Complicated’ or ‘Single’, once more.

I hope my future man is prepared for some ground rules when it comes to cell phone usage. I’m guilty of being addicted to my phone, but I also remember a time of meaningful discussions and spending quality time with my man. So the next guy vying for my attention better be prepared to bring on the intellectual intercourse. Make love to my mind, show some interest. Everyone please, put down your phones and pick up a decent conversation. Stop ignoring your significant others, they may not always be there for you to take for granted.

Big D Doesn’t Always Equal Big O

So, we as women often fantasize about finding the Big D. Dreams of 7, 8, or 9+ inch wangs dancing around our heads like candy-coated gumdrops. We imagine finding the Holy Grail of cock and it hitting all the right spots. Sending uncontrollable tremors through our thighs and cramps in our curled toes. Le sigh…

Though often, an orgasm is not what you’ll get. Your legs will shake, alright. Only because he’s tilting your uterus! Trust me, I dream of Big D just as much as the next girl. Hell, I even write about it! But after talks with friends and other females and my own experiences…Big D might not be all that it’s cracked up to be.

My theory…

I’ve heard men say that they’ve met a super hot chick and was so stoked to get her home. Once they’re in the middle of bumping nasties, they realized, “this isn’t even close to what I imagined it would be.” Many times this is because the hot chick thinks that she doesn’t have to put forth much effort because…well…”I’m hot! He’s lucky I’m even giving him a shot.” Now get with the “chubby girl” (I’m one of them) or the girl that’s not classicly pretty and she may put forth some more effort. Usually, because we feel that we have too, to compete with the “hot chicks” of the world.

This is the same with a big dick man. He thinks “I’ve got a big cock, that should be enough.” And they think we should be thanking our lucky stars that we’re getting the long arm of the law laid on us. Then they’re off. Pounding away like a jackhammer through concrete. Well, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I need some prep work. *knock on door* Let me introduce the Average dick man. The 5 and 6-incher…or less. They’re not huge and they know it. So they feel the need to throw in some extras to overcompensate. Many have mastered the art of cunnilingus. They can throw down like it’s a bucket of chicken. “Finger licking good!” I have experienced both of these men firsthand.

Now I’m not saying there aren’t exceptions to the rule on either side. Some guys could have big Ds and also be overall good lovers. And some Average Joes could be lazy in bed. Same with the “hot chick” and not so hot chick. But considering that “About 75% of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone – that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue. And 10-15% never climax under any circumstances”(ABCNews), it’s obvious that Big D more often than not, doesn’t really get the job done. Plus, I’ve heard quite a few women say that they can’t enjoy different positions with their Big Dick man. Let’s shed a tear for no Doggystyle or Reverse Cowgirl… 😥

So instead of judging a man so harshly on his lack of length, we might want to wait and see what other tricks he might have up his sleeve or shall I say mouth.

~Twyla

Disclaimer: I mean no offense to “hot chicks” or “chubby girls”. Everyone has their own definition of hot. I’m just going off of society’s messed up standards. As well as conversations and things I’ve experienced.

 

Is Anybody Else Tired of Beautiful People on Social Media?

I so badly want to post pics of exactly what I’m talking about, but I’m not a fan of singling out individuals to make fun of them, no matter who they are. But seriously, I can’t believe I’m about to say this… I really am so sick of beautiful people on social media!

I love looking at hot dudes as much as the next chick, but in all honesty, I’m getting so tired of men and women alike on Facebook and Instagram (I’m not on Twitter enough to notice there). It’s one thing if it’s your job. Like if you’re a model or an actor at a photo shoot. But I’m talking about the douches and douchettes that post selfies and videos clips of themselves doing “hot” things. I.e. a guy flexing while he gives sexy smirks and air-kisses to the camera, a girl contorting her body so that she can get her ass AND her face in the picture, all at the same time (how does one accomplish this?!), the guy at the gym, the girl that is STILL making the duckface when we all know it looks ridiculous, the guy dancing like a stripper while licking a strawberry, the girl twerking her luscious booty at the camera, and so on and so on.

I get it if you have a beauty blog or you’re some hot dude that’s making money off of how many likes you get while promoting products at the same time though it’s still obnoxious. I honestly believe it’s all in the way you pose and what you’re doing when you pose. There’s a guy on Facebook and Instagram that is gorgeous and he’s a model. I love the artistic photos of him taken professionally, but the videos and selfies he takes of himself are just too much and his followers glorify it. And you can even tell that he thinks it’s ridiculous because he gives this self-deprecating smile and embarrassed chuckle and adds to the post how he’s being “silly”. If you’re holding a fluffy puppy, hailing a cab, reading the paper or a book with no shirt on, or drinking your morning cup of joe, that’s cool. I just hate the blatant, “look at me, aren’t I hot?” poses. It’s obvious that you’re already hot. You know it. We know it. And we know you know it. So just stop with the overtly sexual pics, already!

Our society has become so utterly infatuated with looks that it borders on the disgusting. Scratch that! It’s surpassed disgusting.

I don’t give a flying fig how ridiculously gorgeous you are, if you’re not working with more than just a pretty outer shell, then you’re not gonna get very far with me or too many others.

I don’t know. I’m just a fan of the understated sexy. A simple look. A small secretive smile. A relaxed gait. Confidence in your own skin. Because regardless of what many people say, most people (not all) that post a billion selfies are not all that confident and are looking for likes to validate their attractiveness. Not because they don’t really think they’re attractive, but because they know it’s all they have.

Oh and I’m sure any of the people that I called out in this blog for their superficial behavior will just say, “Well you’re fat and mildly attractive, you’d be grateful to date someone like me.” To which I say, no matter how many skin creams you use, no matter how much plastic surgery you undergo, your beauty WILL fade. That is assured. What can you offer when it does? So how about you flex some knowledge while you’re flexing those biceps? Or twerk your way over to the library and read a book? An individual is always sexier when they have more to offer than just their looks.